


Runner's Digest

by iammajestik



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-04 23:37:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iammajestik/pseuds/iammajestik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Track runner, Porrim Maryam, is struggling with an eating disorder. After an accident that exposes her secret to everyone, will she get the help she needs to overcome her problem?<br/>TW- Bulimia, Eating Disorders, Depression, Negative Self-Image, Anger</p>
            </blockquote>





	Runner's Digest

**Chapter One**

 Porrim Maryam turned onto her street. She jogged steadily while the hot sun caused beads of sweat to roll down her face. Wiping the sweat from her dark eyes, she began to walk up her driveway. They lived in a nice house in a decent neighborhood. She walked into the door, kicking off her shoes and pushing them nest to the rest of the shoes. She tossed her gym bag onto the couch and walked into the kitchen.

 "Hey mom, I'm home," she said greeting her mother. She grabbed a cold water out of the fridge. Closing the door, she noticed her reflection in the magnetic mirror. Her hair had curled from the sweat. 

"Hello, Honey," her mom greeted her with a warm smile while she cooked dinner. "How was track?" she asked. 

Porrim shrugged. She was a runner, mainly to keep her anger in check. When she became angry and her adrenaline pulsed, she could run to calm herself down. She was a fine runner. Fast, but not the fastest. She didn't really mind not being the fastest. She simply enjoyed running.

"It was alright," she said in response while looking over her mother's shoulder. "What's for dinner?" She asked but she really didn't care. Nothing she ate ever stayed down anyway. She merely nodded when her mother gave her answer. Following a bit of small talk, she left the kitchen and walked up to her room.

Her room was toward the end of the hall after a closet and her younger sister, Kanaya's room. Porrim opened her door and sat on her bed. She observed the mess of clothes on her floor and the palettes of makeup on her dresser. She rested on her bed scrolling through her tumblr dashboard until she heard a knock on the door.

"Porrim, may I come in?" It was Kanaya. She'd alway been so elegant in her speech. Porrim loved it when she talked. She envied almost everything about her younger sister. 

"It's open," she called out.

Kanaya opened the door. 

"Do you, by any possibility, have a spare top you would be so kind as to lend me for tomorrow?"

Porrim looked up from her phone and eyed her younger sister's tall, slender, gorgeous body. She sighed.

"Why do you do this?" Porrim asked slightly offended. Her sister starred at her quizzically. 

"You come in here, and ask for clothes when you know damn well I'm like 3 sizes bigger than you. Do you know how it feels seeing you in my clothes? It's like putting a t-shirt on a broomstick." She wasn't yelling but the irritation was obvious. 

Kanaya brushed it off as nothing because Porrim was always so self-conscious. Kanaya thought her sister to be very beautiful and never thought she had a reason to feel uncomfortable in her body.

"Porrim, please. You're beautiful. You're only like a size or two larger than me, and that is only because you have amazing curves." She told her sister with a smirk.

"Whatever. Take what you want." She said sternly.  Kanaya rummaged through the clothes until she found a shirt and left. Her words echoed through Porrim's mind. Porrim stood and walked to her mirror next to her closet. Disgust rolled through her as she starred at her reflection. Her skin was a dark brown, complemented by her dark brown eyes and black hair. She fiddled with her eyebrow piercings. She had done them herself. She had another piercing in the middle of her pudgy pink lips. She ran her fingers through her tangled mop of hair before pulling it back with a hair tie.

Patting her cheek, she thought of how pudgy they were. She couldn't visibly see her cheekbones and that bothered her. She pulled up her shirt and revealed her gut. She felt like a whale. She felt like the revealed skin overflowed and bulged out of her clothes. Why was she so fat? Both her mother and her sister were skinny so why wasn't she?

It was the only thought she could think at that moment. She only knew one solution that took her mind off of everything and that was to eat. She went to her nightstand and opened the top drawer. In it were multiple snacks she kept for such occasions. She ate one and although she wasn't hungry she ate another, and another, and another. When she was finished, guilt washed over her as it often did upon finishing her consumption. 

"Fat pig," she whispered to the girl in the mirror. It never helped right away. It only ever helped when it came back up. Normally sweets came up on their own. She could feel it bubbling in her stomach. She ran out of her bedroom and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Dropping to her knees, she hunkered over the toilet bowl. 

Here it came; the vomit. It spewed from her mouth, burning the back of her throat. The horrid stench flooded her nostrils. She didn't care though. The ends justifies the means, right?

When the purging was finally over she flushed the toilet, rinsed out her mouth, and sprayed some air freshener to mask the smell. Walking out of the bathroom, Kanaya was standing in the hallway. Paranoia surged through Porrim.

_Did she hear? Will she tell? Quick, I need an excuse. I just drank too much water? That sounds reasonable, right? No, it doesn't, you idiot!_

"Are you alright?" Kanaya asked, looking concerned. 

Porrim was pulled away from her train of thought. "Huh?"

"You look a little pale," Kanaya said, placing the back of her hand on Porrim's forehead. "You don't feel warm. Are you okay?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine." Porrim said shaking her head. She waved it off and began to go to her room. She really didn't want her sister to worry. Porrim was fine and her sister already had enough to worry about. 

"Well dinner is ready, if you're feeling okay." 

Porrim nodded and followed Kanaya down the stairs quietly. Walking into the kitchen, the smell of lasagna or something of the sort, filled the air. They made their plates and sat down. Porrim starred down at the food on her plate. In reality, it wasn't that much, but to Porrim, it felt like a mountain of food. Porrim started to think of how she looked in the mirror. She thought of being two sizes bigger than her sister. She thought of her hidden cheekbones and pudgy lips. Her clothes suddenly felt really tight, like they were shrinking and choking her. Porrim didn't want to eat. She knew the food made her fat and she was already fat enough. If she didn't eat her mom would become suspicious, so she had to eat. 

Porrim poked at her plate. The way the food looked just made her want to stick her fingers down her throat again. Despite her desire, she ate all her food and another plate full. In the midst of putting her plate in the sink and heading back to her room, she noticed the trash was nearly full. Porrim used this to her advantage. She went upstairs to her room and locked the door. It all happened so fast. Bending over her own personal trash can, she pushed two fingers toward the back of her throat. She pressed once, twice, and here it came. Once again, the smell hit her like a slap to the face and the back of her throat began to burn. Her eyes began to water involuntarily. She stood and wiped her face dry. Removing the trash bag and tying it tightly, she headed downstairs.

Porrim placed the smaller bag into the larger trash bag and took them outside. She did this whenever she could because if she was always throwing up in the bathroom, people would start to suspect. Placing the trash bag in the dumpster, she whispered to herself, "Okay, no more food." 


End file.
